An old farmer in heaven

[Bill Hudson]

An old farmer had just arrived in Heaven and St. Peter was showing him around. They first stopped at a beautiful golf course.

"Wow!" said the farmer, "It must cost a lot to play golf on such a marvelous course."

"No," said St Peter, "we have hundreds designed by the most famous pros and they are all free and no waiting for tee times."

Next was a restaurant and the food was just heavenly. "Boy," said the farmer "I bet this sure costs a lot."

"No this is also free and we have everything from the best down home cooking to the finest French cuisine all free."

The last stop was a shop and St. Peter said "I think you might like this also." Inside were a bunch of happy folks restoring old tractors. "Now I know this costs a lot of money; parts and stuff, you know."

"Not here," replied St. Peter. "It's all free. Choose any model tractor or old engine and it’s here the next day ready to be worked on."

At this the farmer became red in the face and began to cuss and rant profusely. St Peter was somewhat startled and asked what the problem was.

"Well," replied the farmer, "if I hadn't given up smoking and drinking and ate all those tasteless health foods I could have been here ten years sooner!!"

[Barnyard]