HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive car parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing convertible tops or tonneau covers.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling rollbar mounting holes in the floor of a sports car just above the brake line that goes to the rear axle.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting those stale garage cigarettes you keep hidden in the back of the Whitworth socket drawer (What wife would think to look in there?) because you can never remember to buy lighter fluid for the Zippo lighter you got from the PX at Fort Campbell.
ZIPPO LIGHTER: See oxyacetelene torch.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for hiding six-month old Salems from the sort of person who would throw them away for no good reason.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against the Rolling Stones poster over the bench grinder.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say, "Django Reinhardt".
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a Mustang to the ground after you have installed a set of Ford Motorsports lowered road springs, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front air dam.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.
TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor Chris to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup on crankshaft pulleys.
TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and hydraulic clutch lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.
BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin", which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round-out Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Campbell-Hausfeld impact wrench that grips rusty suspension bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Norwood, Ohio, and rounds them off.
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tool descriptions
- John *.?-!.* cub owner
- Cub Pro
- Posts: 23701
- Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2003 2:09 pm
- Zip Code: 63664
- Tractors Owned: 47, 48, 49 cub plus Wagner loader & other attachments. 41 Farmall H.
- Location: Mo, Potosi
tool descriptions
If you are not part of the solution,
you are part of the problem!!!
you are part of the problem!!!
- beaconlight
- 10+ Years
- Posts: 7703
- Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:31 pm
- Zip Code: 10314
- Location: NY Staten Island & Franklin
- farmallcub49
- Cub Pro
- Posts: 876
- Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2003 5:05 pm
- Zip Code: 56374
- Circle of Safety: Y
- Location: MN, St. Joseph
I am laughing so hard, I have tears in my eyes and can hardly type. My wife is just shaking her head at me. The wire wheel and drill press description fit me to a T!
'49 Cub, '58 LoBoy,'61 LoBoy, '61 Modified LoBoy, '61 Customized LoBoy, way to many attachments, '22 Centerdoor Sedan, '24 Ford T Roadster, '25 Ford TT, '24 C Cab, '13 Touring, '24 Model T Snowmobile,
- Arizona Mike
- Cub Pro
- Posts: 1952
- Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2003 9:16 pm
- Zip Code: 85615
- Tractors Owned: 6 Cubs and no mas.
1947 Circle series Farmall Cub with Armstrong lift, belt pulley, 5"rims 6" tires, SN 563
1949 Farmall Cub with high crop option and hydraulics
1955 Farmall Cub with fast hitch
1955 International Cub Loboy with fast hitch
1957 Farmall Cub with fast hitch
1959 Farmall Cub with fast hitch - Location: way high up in the Huachuca Mt. at the bottom of a deep dark canyon
- David C
- 10+ Years
- Posts: 611
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2003 9:17 pm
- Zip Code: 47141
- Tractors Owned: 1949 Farmall Cub, 1970 135 Massey Ferguson, 1970 175 Massey Ferguson, 1964 Cub Cadet Model 70. 1977 Farmall 140 (Granpa's)
- Location: Marysville, Indiana
- Lurker Carl
- Cub Pro
- Posts: 3970
- Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2003 9:54 am
- Zip Code: 16685
- Circle of Safety: Y
- Location: PA, Todd
- Bigdog
- Team Cub Mentor
- Posts: 24144
- Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2003 12:50 pm
- Zip Code: 43113
- Circle of Safety: Y
- Location: OH, Circleville
- Contact:
At least after reading the descriptions, I know I'm not the only one..................
Bigdog
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
My wife says I don't listen to her. - - - - - - - - Or something like that!
http://www.cubtug.com
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
My wife says I don't listen to her. - - - - - - - - Or something like that!
http://www.cubtug.com
- Carm
- 10+ Years
- Posts: 1085
- Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2003 2:11 pm
- Zip Code: 21234
- Tractors Owned: 1947 FCub 1948 FCub (FrankenCub), 1949 C, 1952 SA, 1963 IH 3414 Backhoe Diesel, 1960 Oliver 880 Diesel, 1945 Mack EF Fire Truck
- Circle of Safety: Y
- Location: MD, Baltimore and Freeland
- Contact:
Wel, the oxyacetylene torch is also called a hot wrench. A fellow mechanic once changed 4 shocks on an old station wagon with an impact wrench and a hot wrench. Used the impact to run the scissor jack then burned the shock bolts off. Caught fire twice and had the job completed in 10 minutes. I had a whole new respect for those tool after that!
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