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My thoughts on Chain emails

Anything that might not belong on the other message boards!
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Russell F
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My thoughts on Chain emails

Postby Russell F » Fri May 19, 2006 9:47 am

I get chain email letters daily it seems, forwarded by my so called friends and associates, I always delete them, usually without reading them, hoping to at least partialy break the chain, and I have yet to be hit by a Bus, die in a plain crash, have 7 years of bad luck, etc..etc...

But today i recieved a slightly different chain email and felt like sharing it with yall...it gave me a good chuckle. Enjoy



SUBJECT: Thanks

My Friends .....

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks goes to whoever sent me the e-mail about the rat crap in the glue on envelopes, because now I use a wet sponge to seal my envelopes. You probably saved my life.

I also scrub the top of every can I open, thanks to an e-mail from one of you.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola, because it can remove toilet stains. And, I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these products are atheists, who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones, because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls, because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS or FedEx, since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number, for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers, but that will change, once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since one of you sent me their secret recipe in an e-mail. Now if one of you has the secret recipe to Bush's Baked Beans, please send it.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214 angels watching over me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any money in my savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). In fact, I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

I want to thank you so much for looking out for me.

Now I would like to return the favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon, with a wicked case of diarrhea, will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's, ex-mother-in-law's, second husband's, cousin's beautician .....

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Donny M
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Postby Donny M » Fri May 19, 2006 10:00 am

Most of that type e-mail I get I also delete. My friends that e-mail them to me must think I'm a wicked fella for not sending them back but if they really know me they know better. I have many other things to start or finish to be spending time forwarding e-mails.
Come to think of it, I'm wasting time now, later :lol: :lol: :lol:
8)

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Postby Jim Becker » Fri May 19, 2006 11:17 am

A lot of the time, when I get one of those emails, I will take the minute required to find a web page that debunks it. I then do a "reply all" with a pointer to the web page. Hopefully it will head somebody off before they forward it. Here is the text of a reply I made to one yesterday:

This looks like a hoax. It only takes a few minutes to check these things
before forwarding them.
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/missing/ashleyflores.asp

Of the 15 or so mentioned in the "Thanks" email, there are only 1 or 2 that I haven't gotten. Many have shown up as mutations as well. I can not only duplicate Nieman-Marcus cookies, but can also duplicate Mrs Fields and Famous Amos.

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lildog
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Postby lildog » Fri May 19, 2006 11:18 am

For those who don't know, I run a Web site devoted to investigating and debunking chain letters.

http://www.breakthechain.org

Russell, you might want to check out the the section in the Chain-Breaker's Community Forum called "Yanking the Chain." It's a collection of humorous "anti-chains" like the one you posted.
John "lildog" Ratliff: Facebook | Twitter

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Postby John(videodoc) » Fri May 19, 2006 11:38 am

i hate these chain letter as much as the next person, my oldest sister got in the habit of sending me one or two every day. i replied to one, polietyl askin her to stop sending me that stuff as i just delete anyway. now is she wants to email how she or the family is doing, please do, otherwise dont. that was almost 3 yrs ago. still waiting for a response. :cry:


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