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Amazingly simple home remedies

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DuxburyFarmall
10+ Years
10+ Years
Posts: 535
Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:51 am
Location: Massachusetts, Duxbury

Amazingly simple home remedies

Postby DuxburyFarmall » Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:13 am

I got this tis morning and had to pass it on.

Amazingly simple home remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and
presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting
the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of
life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it
shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations!
You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and
friends; you never know when you might need them to
empty your bedpan.
'51 Cub and a 60's Cub Lo-Boy

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beaconlight
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Posts: 7703
Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:31 pm
Zip Code: 10314
Location: NY Staten Island & Franklin

Postby beaconlight » Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:18 am

And a good day to you too.

bill
Bill

"Life's tough.It's even tougher if you're stupid."
- John Wayne

" We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office."
- Aesop

LiL' Red
10+ Years
10+ Years
Posts: 919
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2005 9:41 pm
Zip Code: 61423
eBay ID: woodpecker56
Location: IL, Cameron

Postby LiL' Red » Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:22 pm

Sounds like a wonderfull philosophy for life. Oh. by the way, how's No3 workin out fer ya?

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Dale51
10+ Years
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Posts: 568
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 3:39 pm
Location: Wellsville NY

Postby Dale51 » Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:09 am

You for got be nice to your children as they pick your nursing home.
If it's been broken I did it.
If its not broken wait till I touch it.


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