Thoughts On Sickness In Families

[Merlin]

I'm sitting here this morning in total darkness except the light of my computer screen. This is by no means a gripe post, just an observation. I just read about Nik's Dad passing and it got me in a rare thinking mode about sickness in some families and none in others, people passing on, some at a very early age and some at a very old age. Why am I still here after 5 heart attacks (the first one at 31 and two called massive by my Dr.) and some people pass on with their first one even at a very early age? Why when I am sitting and relaxing I feel like I am 20 years old and can do anything, and when I get up to move around a little I feel like I'm 90 and can't hardly get a couple hundred feet to the mail box? At least God has given me the time that there won't be a question about which kids get what. We have already given them the important things, such as assurance of our love, and things that were passed down to us as memories from past generations, and time to prepare themselves. There's not much left and the Will will take care of that. Also, why did my wife get Diabetes at such an early age? Why did she lose the sight in one of her eyes? Why the possibility of it being removed next week? Why didn't He just put that sickness on me because I am already sick and it wouldn't matter? I guess the good Lord really does work in mysterious ways and does what's best for us in His own way. I accept that, but ones mind does wonder sometimes.

[400lbsonacubseatspring]

Merlin,

I hear ya, believe me.

My wife became more or less housebound at 46. I got diabetes at 32. She passed away at 52. In the midst of this, my mother, who was helping me with my wife, had 2 severe heart attacks, and her heart was so badly damaged that, had she not been a diabetic, she would have gone on a transplant list. My daughter was also diagnosed as autistic around the same time my wife took sick.

And, all in all, I have to say, that I feel "blessed". Most days, I am at peace with myself, and the world. What more could I ask for?

My wife would often sit and cry "why me" or "why us". Those thoughts never entered my mind. I often would reply, "well, why not us?" If one truly believed that God gives these burdens to people literally, it would be difficult to comprehend a loving and merciful God. But he doesn't. God prefers a "hands-off" approach to managing his flock. These problems afflict people without rhyme or reason, and if you look around your community, you will surely find people who are worse off than you are, just as you find those who are better off.

The basis of the "basic truths" of buddhism, as I recently posted to Carl are:

All life is full of suffering
Suffering comes from trying to change the unchangeable
There are ways to overcome this
All people deserve and strive towards happiness.

I think, when you get right down to it, Life is like a giant 12-step program, where what you are trying to fight off is sickness and death. You just need to take it one day at a time, accept that you are mortal, and do the best that you can.

Hello, my name is Tom, and I've been Death-Free for 14,382 days (or something like that)...........

[ljw]

Merlin,
In a nutshell, "Why do bad things happen to good people?"
Will the first of us Cubbers driving to the other side please send an email?

Larry

[Paul_NJ]

When I was traveling in Ireland this past summer with my two kids, we made the opportunity to stop in to a old, old beautiful church in an out of the way town that had seen better times. As we wandered thru, the only people there, an old man came up to us. . . he was the church caretaker . . . a volunteer, as we found out, after his life’s work as a butcher in town. A more gentle, smiling man you’ll never meet. In the conversation that went on . . . it was a pleasure just to let him talk . . . in his Irish way he told us the prayer he’d begun each day with for many years. It started “Lord, thank you for another day on this side of the ground”.

It answers none of these questions, but maybe that’s all the information we’ll be provided until we get to the other side.

[Bigdog]

When people ponder why bad things happen it reminds me of something I once heard. I have heard skeptics often taunt believers who are going through bad times by asking "Why would a loving God allow this to happen?" I think back through biblical history to the trials and temptation that befell many good and faithful people. And what I remember most is what I chose to raise my own children by. And that is that God never promised us an easy road to travel. What He did promise us is that if we remained faithful, He would sustain us no matter what came our way.
As a parent, I could not prevent my kids from being hurt as they played nor could I protect them from the evils of the world. All I could promise is that I would be there if they needed comfort or guidance or even just to talk.
Life sure hasn't been easy but I am blessed beyond belief because of the friends and family that I have. A lot of those folks are those I met here through this forum.

[John(videodoc)]

i am a firm believer that we are "spiritual beings" on a human journey , and the things that we are privledged(yes) to experience here on earth (some may say hell) are all part of preparing us for the beyond.

Now i can say that, in one breath and in the next breath i can say, i wish he'd stop given me the opportunity to learn/grow.

Ifn you know what i mean.

And remember, its not for me to question, its for me to perserve (had to look that one up )

john

[Rudi]

Merlin and all:

I too have had the same thoughts. It was right after I was diagnosed with a terminal condition courtesy of the Canadian Military via a blood transfusion . That was in 1992.. I was 34 years of age.. I was given 6 months maximum to live. I had a young wife, 5 children, 3 of whom were conceived AFTER my infection in 1985.. my son was 9.

Funny thing about 9 and ten years of age in my family.. My Dad was 9 when his Dad died in 1939 after the start of WW2. I was 10, by 3 months, when my Dad got 13,000 volts after falling into a high tension line whilst moving a house. My son was 9 when I was diagnosed.

My youngest was 3 years of age.........................

Two years later I had my first heart attack at the ripe old age of 36. Because, there was little evidence externally or even in the blood workups, it was passed off as a most likely case of angina at worst and a bad case of gas at best. When they went in last winter for my bypass, the surgeon discovered that it wasn't just a little heart attack... it was a biggie and it left major damage... and much concern as there is now SVD in the lower anterior or my heart....

So far, this has been the easy stuff... don't want to get into the difficult stuff..

Why am I still here Is a question many of us ponder often. I know I do not have an answer, for only the Lord truly knows what HIS purpose in our existence is. But I do know this, I am here for a purpose, and I am still here because I have not yet reached the end of HIS role for me, what ever that may be.

So, I try to live my life as well as I can, by living my faith, by raising my family and by being the best hubby I can be. So far the Lord has blessed my by allowing me to continue to live and experience this "Veil of Tears" with my family and to share each and on another's life and love. I thank HIM everyday for the joy that he gives me by this simple gift. I no longer look at my life with sadness or a feeling that somehow I have gotten the shaft, but rather more like, I have a great life.

I have a wonderful and loving wife who has stood beside me through hell and high water and been a trooper to boot. I have 5 beautiful children that the Lord has blest Em and I with, who love us and we love equally as dearly. I have an extended family, who even with all it's collective warts and foibles is a wonderful family and one I am proud to be part of and thankful to share in their love. I have wonderful friends - the vast majority who dwell on this forum and who have blessed Em and I and our family with their love and friendship as well over the past year or so.

Each of these have been a part of helping us through our pain, sorrow and our fears as we travelled through the last 18 months.. and without them, the journey would have been so much harder, and vastly more painful. We thank the Lord for each of you!

BD said: "Why would a loving God allow this to happen?"

I know I have asked myself this question hundreds of times. BD was quite right in his answer too...

And that is that God never promised us an easy road to travel. What He did promise us is that if we remained faithful, He would sustain us no matter what came our way.

I know what keeps me going is my faith. My faith in Jesus and in his sacrifice for me and for all of us. As long as our faith is strong, we shall live our lives as God intended us to.

As for the length of our lives, the suffering some of us have to go through, the pain and trials that often encumber us? Some of us are meant to experience much sorrow and by the experience and how we handle it are to be examples to others. And some of us whose visit here is short, we are also examples of how we have lived our lives to those around us as well.

One thing the Lord does do is to ensure that our lives are crossed by many different people, and of these vastly different people, we are blessed with many, many good friends

BD said: "Why would a loving God allow this to happen?"

Another answer to unbelievers would be -- Why not

Maybe, just maybe, one of the reasons why we carry the loads we do is to teach us humility

Every day I humbly and gratefully thank the Lord for giving me one more day with my family and I humbly ask that HE be Gracious to me and grant me one more.....

Amen.

[John(videodoc)]

amen

[400lbsonacubseatspring]

Rudi, et al...

My recollections come to me in waves at times, and although I usually remember everything I have ever said, out of fear more than pride, the words of others are sometimes lost in the shuffle for a while.

Last night I recalled an analogy provided some 20 years ago by a Methodist preacher friend of mine, while we were having one of our debates over precisely the issue of skepticism. Although 20 years has turned his precise language into my own, this is basically what he said:

"You need to envision God as a non-playing partner in a cosmic game of monopoly, to answer that question. God will tell you the rules, in fact, He wrote the rule book. He might act as a spiritual banker, of sorts, being there when you need different spiritual currency than what you have, or handing some out as you go around the board, but He never plays the game, and He never cheats, or allows you to cheat. He doesn't roll the dice, you do, but when you lose the game, you still win, because you get to go sit with Him, until everyone's done playing."

At the time, I thought it was brilliant, but unconvincing. It seems to fit the general concept here, though.