Addiction - Not to cubs

[John(videodoc)]

As most, if not all of you know, i work with those suffering from addiction, in my day time profession (keep your day job ) Well this weekend was a rough one for our facility. We had 3 clients OD, die, give up the fight for life. Our staff is talking about it, but not much. The assigned counselors are struggling with their losses, always a personal setback. asking yourself what could i have done differently.

Life is what you make of it, and enjoy every minute, as it may be your last. If you know a person suffering from addiction, help them get help, or help them out of your lives to prevent future pain in yours. Coming into the office and hearing this news just reminds me how precious life is, and how much we need to make the most of it.

A friend mine came to me once about his sister who was using real bad. I told him to get her arrested if she refused to get help. He said he couldnt do that. Well when she lossed her kids due to using he was sad, eventually she did get caught for a much worse charge and went to prison. She stayed clean about a minute upon release, and once agian he refused to get her help, well at her funeral, he was sad as well.

Addiction is a disease that lives for ever within the person, it goes to the saying, if at first you dont succeed, you try again. You keep trying, NO MATTER WHAT. Its better than the alternative. Be mad at the disease, not the person, keep getting them help, what ever that maybe. Even if that means getting them arrested, at least they will be safe. May be mad at you, but safe.

I guess i had to vent a little to my friends today. John

[Bigdog]

John, my hat is off to you and those who do what you do. I had the misfortune to encounter many of those individuals in time of crisis during the years that I volunteered in EMS. We usually saw them at their worst and as you stated, sometimes we were able to save them and sometimes we were not. Our exposures to them were brief but intense. Some of them we dealt with repeatedly. It's really hard when they don't want help but it must really be bad when they are trying to get help and you lose them.
Hang in there.

[DuxburyFarmall]

Hang in there John.

What you do is a great thing.

Chad

[W6NZ]

You are doing a great job, John, I'm sure you and your team did all you could, there are some people who, withall the help in the world, nothing changes.
I take my hat off to you.
I was once involved in "Tough Love' so I know the frustrations and also that elated feeling that you get when you see someone turning their life around.

[John *.?-!.* cub owner]

Doc, some of my friends have had addicition problmes and I have tried to hel[p. sometimes successfully, sometimes not. My hat is off to you and the work you do, I know I could not handle it. I guess I am lucky, the worst addiction I have is food. and i guess talking too much.

[Bigdog]

Doc, some of my friends have had addicition problmes and I have tried to hel[p. sometimes successfully, sometimes not. My hat is off to you and the work you do, I know I could not handle it. I guess I am lucky, the worst addiction I have is food. and i guess talking too much.

Not to make light of a serious situation but I can see it now:

Hello, my name is John *.?-!.* and I'm a talkaholic.

[Mac from NS]

John I don't mind being here for you to vent.

[beaconlight]

As a foreman in the NY phone Co. I had a guy with a drinking problem. I was about to fire him after his latest bout. I had called the union to be present at the dismissal. That morning he came in and said Bill I have a problem. I told him, Artie you just said the magic word. Do you want to go away with Union or the Company? Either way he went the same place and got the same help. He said I have a choice? Fortunately he picked the Union. That way when he came back 6 weeks later there were people to help him through lunch and after work to keep away from demon rum. He recovered successfully. After that I got each one returning from the 6 week program. Eight in all and all successifully.
There was a loss not involving work but it hurts too much to go into details.
Bill

[John Niekamp]

John,

My hats off to you as well. I went through HELL with someone very close and dear to me, they have that "ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY" and was addicted to prescription drugs, Ambien and Fasten. I was told that it usually takes something very drastic like hitting a "Rock Bottom" before the person realizes that they even have a problem, let alone admitting to it. Sad as it may be sometimes that "rock bottom" is too late. Also, the counselors told me, that is was only a matter of time before they would have moved onto bigger and better things, meaning illegal drugs.

Well luckily this person was threatened with loosing their professional license and a possibility of even a jail sentence. They didn't have to hit that point of a "rock bottom" state and checked themselves into a drug rehab for three weeks, then afterwards with daily follow-ups with the counselor and 5 nights a week attending Alcoholic Anonymous meetings (yes AA, drug addiction is a form of the alcoholic disease as well, with people with addictive personalities) Well 5 years later and a lot of love and support, they have been doing great and been happy ever since, with only a slight red mark on their professional record.

Articles I have read on an addictive personalities, that when people who have these kinds of addictions it dosen't only affect that one person, it affects MANY MANY as it did in this case.

I always had the mentality that hey, your the alcholic or drug user you the loser and not me, don't look at me for any sympathy, because your not getting any from me. WELL when it hits home, that was a wake up call and made my eyes WIDE OPEN! I have nothing but the highest reguards for Alcoholic Anonymous and the folks who do the sponsers for the AA members. Through AA I learned that these addictions can hit anyone at anytime and at any age, it has no values and is SO destructive.

After attending meetings with AA for moral support, under the term "Alanon" They give the member different color of anodized aluminum coins for how ever many months they have been clean, except for the year mark, they are a bronze type of metal, well anyhow on the back of these coins they have this, the shortened version of the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

AMEN


I live by this everyday in my life.

I guess what I am trying to say to you John, in your profession, sadly you may not and WON'T be able to turn them all around or save them, BUT just remember the ones that you are able to save with that successful outcome. You are only human and you can only do the best that you can, the good lord above will be there to help you along as well.

John Niekamp

[400lbsonacubseatspring]

My stepfather was a horribly mean alchoholic. My stepdaughter was a goodnatured drug-addict. When my stepfather was sober, he had no personality at all, and merely stared off into space. When my stepdaughter was clean, she was mean, deceitful, lying, and stole from me.

Sometimes, I think, the addiction becomes such a large part of the person's personality, like maybe cigarettes have become such a large part of mine, that if you separate them, the two parts are less than their sum.

I am very happy my stepfather is dead. It was one of the happiest days of my life when he passed on. He died of scirosis, and my only regret is that he did not linger on in excruciating pain even longer. I am also very happy that my stepdaughter is several states away, and no longer speaks to me. I know this is a case of hating the person instead of the disease, but when the two become inseparable, sometimes you have no choice. With or without their substances, they had their problems, and were despicable individuals.

There are probably lots of good people who have problems, John, and if that is the case, I do applaud your work. I just haven't had the pleasure of meeting many, or having any in my immediate family. Sometimes, I fear, there are just those that cannot be saved. Perhaps there are those who should not be saved.

My wife was certainly addicted to opiate pain killers in her last years of life. I never approached this issue, however, as she did have real pain most of the time, and keeping her comfortable was more of a priority than dealing with what I felt was a well-earned addiction. This addiction no doubt limited the length of her life somewhat, but improved the quality of her life a great deal. I feel no guilt or remorse over "enabling" this particular addiction, even though I knew full well what I was doing. If she had hopes of recovering, I would have felt otherwise, of course.

[ljw]

Tom,
Interesting how you feel. But it made me think about things. Remember the lyrics to Simon and Garfunckel's "Patterns"?

Like a rat in a maze, the path before me lies.
And the pattern never changes, until the rat dies.

Can we change? Is it true what scientists say that DNA has a role in all of this? I don't know. And I don't know about these people you speak of. But I know you hurt herself when you can't forgive and let it go! Make peace with the demons. You deserve at least that much. Larry

[jakeesspoo]

I went through detox in June and had to go to jail all of August last summer. I got my first cub as soon as I got out of detox/rehab. I knew I would be needing something more to occupy my time to keep me away from drinking. Working pretty good so far, it's still a struggle every day not to drink though. Sounds kinda stupid, like it should be a easy thing to do, but its not. Im thankfull that I have a supportive wife and family to help keep me in line. Its amazing also how much money and time I save staying out of the bars. If it wasnt for these cubs and this broke down house I dont know what I would do

[John(videodoc)]

GLAD your here Jake, know what your talking about. As the T-shirt said, been there, done that, sold the shirt for ............ Your not the only recoverying person here, and we are all behind you! And yes, a cub is a lot more productive then a bar.

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement, it was a bad day that day. Just needed to vent.

Tom, as Larry said, you need to find a way to let go. Forgive and forget.

[beaconlight]

Jake we are here for you too. Any time you need send me a PM, if on the forum won't do it.
Glad to see it working out for you. I am 73 and all my hard hitting buddies are gone. Last one 5 years ago. None of them went easy either. Got a much younger friend who had the problem. Jimmy ended up loosing his wife and she left state with his 2 daughters. He finally got his act together . He is clean 7 years. He still goes to AA 7 nights a week. It is what he needs to do
Bill.

[400lbsonacubseatspring]

Larry and John,

Most days, I manage to forget. That helps a lot. It's the forgiving part that's rough. Without going into a long "poor me" story, and we all have our share of those, suffice it to say that there are some things that are unforgivable, even with my very best buddhist and Christian values tugging towards doing precisely that (how can you keep turning the other cheek, when all you have left are the cheekbones?)

I have so far managed to insulate my daughter from all that is bad about "family" in this world. If I can make it to the end of the maze, and have done that one thing well, I will die a happy rat.

I wish I could do more. She is autistic, and doesn't realize that she is different from others. Unfortunately, her non-autistic schoolmates are starting to really pick on her for her shortcomings, and she really doesn't understand it. Yet autistic kids do better in regular public schools (from an educational standpoint) than they do in autistic schools or special-ed public schools.

So, Larry, inwardly, you have me pegged. I am running on the same machinery I built during my teens. Outwardly, however, if I even utter a favourite phrase of my stepfather's, or so much as move my arm in a similar manner as he did, I berate myself, so badly as not to make that mistake again. I guess, even if the maze is the same, the rat can learn a great deal given enough time. In fact, before I agreed to have a child, I set the condition that my wife had to convince me through argument that I was not at all like my stepfather, and would never become like him.